Remaining time.

Source: Pinterest.

Beberapa waktu lalu, dapat kabar duka. Temen seangkatan, ngambil jurusan yang sama dari kampus yang beda, harus pergi mendahului. Never knew this burden feeling would coming. Tiba-tiba ngerasa mellow. So i write here, to release this feeling…

Death, for me, is not something that would fear me out.

But being left because of death would always frighten me.

I’d rather die rather than experiencing being left. Se-egois itu.

Aku sadar, gak pernah tau kapan waktunya dipanggil. Since being kind cost zero for me, aku selalu berusaha ninggalin kesan baik ke orang. Because, when my presence no longer exist in this world, I wanna leave tons of good impressions. Or simply i just wanna be remembered as a person who never throwing pains and hurt others. Kenyataannya, tentu aja gak sehebat itu. I hurt people, i yelled on people, dan masih banyak hal buruk yg aku lakuin ke keluarga, temen, dan orang sekitarku. Dan part yang paling menyedihkan adalah pas sadar bahwa ternyata aku pelan-pelan jadi people pleaser. I hate when i fail to comfort people, i hate when i unable to make people happy, tapi sadar aku gapernah bahagiain diri sendiri.

As someone said, “The trouble is you think you have time”. Aku selalu merasa masih ada besok, masih ada minggu depan, tahun depan, 10 tahun lagi. Terus gak sadar, gimana kalo besok aku diambil? Gimana kalo 3 jam kedepan aku udah gabisa ngeliat orang-orang lagi? Ketakutan yang gak pernah aku sadarin pelan-pelan muncul. But again, i’m trying to living the best life. And when my time is over, i have become the best person and the happiest person of my own life.

This would be my favorite quotes padahal udah ada di hp dari SMA dan ternyata sekarang lebih berasa maknanya.