To live is to suffer.

I was having my grab ride to somewhere down the town and an eye-opening conversation with the driver. He was friendly when he first welcomed me, and we struck up a conversation. A father of a son and a daughter whose life is now settled, having recently retired from his employment. He’s doing this work to keep him busy so he won’t be experiencing dementia later. His talk was pretty calm until he got to the sentences.

‘Istri saya sudah berpulang tahun lalu, Mba’

He kept saying things lightly, while I remain silent in the back seat and wondering things. Does he feel lonely? How did he cope with those hard times? How long does he take to get over his grieving and be able to speak freely?

Meeting new people always brings me to a wider perspective. To hear and to learn from someone’s story, to finally realize that a lot of people suffer in their own way. The one with spending their own time alone while the other prefers distracting themselves with lot of things. Our troubles sometimes looked trivial in comparison to what they were going through at times, vice versa. In the end, people suffer in different ways.

The story from Bapak Grab woke me up to the reality that this world doesn’t revolve only around you. The world, the people, won’t pay attention to your sadness. They don’t give a damn. Either you will drown in your grief or you learn how to swim your sadness.

And He chose to learn how to swim. He chose to live his life, to put his sadness aside, and be grateful for what he has right now. Sure it wasn’t an easy ride to this moment. A lot more sleepless nights, broken prayer, and desperate days have passed. Suffering has been stronger than all other teachings. Instead of feeding his suffering, he came out with gratitude and peace.

It was a pleasant evening ride with him, a more lesson learned and as the car reached the place and go, the lesson remained in my mind.